The Weekend Review: X-FILES: I Want To Believe
X-Files I Want To Believe
Review by Kamafi Adio
CAST
David Duchovny
Gillian Anderson
Xzibit
Amanda Peet
Billy Connolly
Callum Keith Rennie
Directed by Chris C. Carter
Review by Kamafi Adio
CAST
David Duchovny
Gillian Anderson
Xzibit
Amanda Peet
Billy Connolly
Callum Keith Rennie
Directed by Chris C. Carter
REVIEW By: Kamafi Adio
THE SHORT OF IT
Essentially an extended episode of the show, that today couldn’t compete with the weakest episode of CSI.
THE LONG OF IT
The film begins with an intense scene that cross-cuts from a woman being stalked and attacked with scenes of the FBI, obviously
hours later, probing the snow to find her. We soon learn that she was an FBI agent and she’s been kidnapped and is believed
dead. The Agents, led by raspy-voiced Xzibit and the way too earnest Amanda Peet, with the pornstar name of Dakota Whitney,
contact Scully so she can help them find Mulder. Who happens to be hiding out in Scully’s backroom and seemingly cuts out
newspapers all day while she works at a hospital with sick children. The FBI is willing to drop the charges they filed against him at
the end of the show, providing he can help find the agent. So Mulder doffs his beard, puts on a pair of clean clothes, and goes in
search of the truth, which in this case, takes the from of a pedophile priest named Father Joe who claims his ‘visions’ can help
find the missing agent. After six years, Mulder and Scully must combat the darkness of the case, while struggling to keep their
tenuous relationship and their lives, intact.
THE SHORT OF IT
Essentially an extended episode of the show, that today couldn’t compete with the weakest episode of CSI.
THE LONG OF IT
The film begins with an intense scene that cross-cuts from a woman being stalked and attacked with scenes of the FBI, obviously
hours later, probing the snow to find her. We soon learn that she was an FBI agent and she’s been kidnapped and is believed
dead. The Agents, led by raspy-voiced Xzibit and the way too earnest Amanda Peet, with the pornstar name of Dakota Whitney,
contact Scully so she can help them find Mulder. Who happens to be hiding out in Scully’s backroom and seemingly cuts out
newspapers all day while she works at a hospital with sick children. The FBI is willing to drop the charges they filed against him at
the end of the show, providing he can help find the agent. So Mulder doffs his beard, puts on a pair of clean clothes, and goes in
search of the truth, which in this case, takes the from of a pedophile priest named Father Joe who claims his ‘visions’ can help
find the missing agent. After six years, Mulder and Scully must combat the darkness of the case, while struggling to keep their
tenuous relationship and their lives, intact.
REVIEW
First off let me say that I’m not a hardcore fan of the show but neither am I a casual watcher. So I closely followed the first few
seasons and have a good enough grasp of the show to write and submit an episode. While I never made it to the writing staff,
my lady almost did, but she got nixed because that was the year the show was cancelled. So I do understand what worked on
the show and what didn’t. The show basically featured Mulder and Scully tracking down the likes of Bigfoot, Nessie, Dracula and
Alien Conspiracies with intelligence and sardonic wit.
At its heyday, the show broke a lot of rules in format, tone, and even in the mature, intellectual relationship between its leads.
They were even the first show to feature extended cell phone usage, so much so that Verizon should really cut them a check.
So should Heroes, Lost, Supernatural, and any serialized show with a supernatural bent that came after. It was this serial format
that allowed the show to pioneer the now common practice of renting tv shows on DVD. And with their first movie Fight The
Future, they made a rare and successful transition from tv to film. Then the creator Chris Carter did something inexplicable – he
took the cast back to tv?
I always knew when did that he had essentially killed any chance of any more hit movies. Not even the most ardent fans would
follow them from tv to movies, back to tv, and then back to movies. Well I hope those few seasons he got after the first movie
was worth it. Frankly, this was the cinematic equivalent of getting your favorite band to perform for you and all they sang was
Happy Birthday. They didn’t do any of their hits and only sang one song you didn’t like – that is the frustration anyone who liked
the shoe will feel.
I still tried to remove all preconceived notions and just experience the film for itself, and even doing that I was disappointed. The
biggest disappointment came when the credits appeared after one of the weakest and shortest third acts I’ve seen in a while.
The second disappointment came when I realized that this was not a horror thriller, but in fact a romantic thriller. Seriously, the
so-called "x-file" part of the movie was largely incidental, with the thrilling elements so sparse, I might even classify this as a
romantic drama. And by romance, I mean deep meditations on how the concepts of faith and belief manifest themselves in the
lives of Scully and Mulder – not kissing romance.
A big part of the head-scratchingly muddle of a plot is the subplot about Scully fighting hospital administration to save a dying
child. She wants to perform an experimental stem cell procedure that will be extremely painful for the child and might kill him, but
might also save his life.
Why is this so confusing? Because nearly half of the movie is about her decision regarding the procedure and it has very little
to do with the missing agent. With the exception of one small clue, that regular detective work could’ve found, the sick kid and
missing agent weren’t connected at all.
Gillian Anderson looked stunningly smart, better than I’ve ever seen her, and her compassion for her child patient just made
Mulder seem like that much more a selfish jerk when he kept asking her for help. Especially since, she was the only one who
could save her patient’s life, while the whole FBI was trying to find the woman. Duchovny on the other hand was his typical droll
self offering nothing new to the character or the experience.
The complete lack of a villain, monster or a decent bad guy, really hobbles the story. And for a show known for its intelligence
and wit, the idea that the FBI would call in a man it considered a criminal to help with a psychic case strains credibility. Why?
Because the FBI routinely consults with psychics all the time, or at least often enough that there’s no reason to call in Mulder.
Especially since – and this is the real kicker – the psychic never provides them with any evidence that leads them to kidnappers.
It was good old fashioned detective work that led Mulder to the very non-threatening bad guys.
So basically, this was a mildly suspenseful relationship drama about two former agents trying to find the faith to solve two very
different cases. If you know that going in then you’ll enjoy the film much better. But if you’ve ever seen more than three
episodes of the X-files you will have trouble believing you paid good money for this.
First off let me say that I’m not a hardcore fan of the show but neither am I a casual watcher. So I closely followed the first few
seasons and have a good enough grasp of the show to write and submit an episode. While I never made it to the writing staff,
my lady almost did, but she got nixed because that was the year the show was cancelled. So I do understand what worked on
the show and what didn’t. The show basically featured Mulder and Scully tracking down the likes of Bigfoot, Nessie, Dracula and
Alien Conspiracies with intelligence and sardonic wit.
At its heyday, the show broke a lot of rules in format, tone, and even in the mature, intellectual relationship between its leads.
They were even the first show to feature extended cell phone usage, so much so that Verizon should really cut them a check.
So should Heroes, Lost, Supernatural, and any serialized show with a supernatural bent that came after. It was this serial format
that allowed the show to pioneer the now common practice of renting tv shows on DVD. And with their first movie Fight The
Future, they made a rare and successful transition from tv to film. Then the creator Chris Carter did something inexplicable – he
took the cast back to tv?
I always knew when did that he had essentially killed any chance of any more hit movies. Not even the most ardent fans would
follow them from tv to movies, back to tv, and then back to movies. Well I hope those few seasons he got after the first movie
was worth it. Frankly, this was the cinematic equivalent of getting your favorite band to perform for you and all they sang was
Happy Birthday. They didn’t do any of their hits and only sang one song you didn’t like – that is the frustration anyone who liked
the shoe will feel.
I still tried to remove all preconceived notions and just experience the film for itself, and even doing that I was disappointed. The
biggest disappointment came when the credits appeared after one of the weakest and shortest third acts I’ve seen in a while.
The second disappointment came when I realized that this was not a horror thriller, but in fact a romantic thriller. Seriously, the
so-called "x-file" part of the movie was largely incidental, with the thrilling elements so sparse, I might even classify this as a
romantic drama. And by romance, I mean deep meditations on how the concepts of faith and belief manifest themselves in the
lives of Scully and Mulder – not kissing romance.
A big part of the head-scratchingly muddle of a plot is the subplot about Scully fighting hospital administration to save a dying
child. She wants to perform an experimental stem cell procedure that will be extremely painful for the child and might kill him, but
might also save his life.
Why is this so confusing? Because nearly half of the movie is about her decision regarding the procedure and it has very little
to do with the missing agent. With the exception of one small clue, that regular detective work could’ve found, the sick kid and
missing agent weren’t connected at all.
Gillian Anderson looked stunningly smart, better than I’ve ever seen her, and her compassion for her child patient just made
Mulder seem like that much more a selfish jerk when he kept asking her for help. Especially since, she was the only one who
could save her patient’s life, while the whole FBI was trying to find the woman. Duchovny on the other hand was his typical droll
self offering nothing new to the character or the experience.
The complete lack of a villain, monster or a decent bad guy, really hobbles the story. And for a show known for its intelligence
and wit, the idea that the FBI would call in a man it considered a criminal to help with a psychic case strains credibility. Why?
Because the FBI routinely consults with psychics all the time, or at least often enough that there’s no reason to call in Mulder.
Especially since – and this is the real kicker – the psychic never provides them with any evidence that leads them to kidnappers.
It was good old fashioned detective work that led Mulder to the very non-threatening bad guys.
So basically, this was a mildly suspenseful relationship drama about two former agents trying to find the faith to solve two very
different cases. If you know that going in then you’ll enjoy the film much better. But if you’ve ever seen more than three
episodes of the X-files you will have trouble believing you paid good money for this.
BOTTOM LINE
The truth is out there and so is this movie – unfortunately they are not in the same place. As one reviewer said – "The fact that
there are aliens in Indiana Jones and none in an X-Files movie is ridiculous!"
RATING
DVD (Only for you X-File completionists are there.)
BEST THING: The beginning 5 minutes (best action) – When Scully yells at the pedophile priest (most emotional).
WORST THING: Complete lack of villains, or any sustainable tension.
MY RATING SYSTEM
(I never understood stars. What the f*** does 3 stars mean? I rate movies based of what's important, how much cheddar will I
have to spend. 'Cuz really aren't some movies good because you saw them for free?)
Full Price = Stop looking at porn and go see it right now!
Half Price = It can wait, but you should see it on the bigscreen.
DVD = Not a bad way to kill 2 hours, but not worth hiring a babysitter.
Cable = Okay to kill time with while you wait for your microwave dinner to finish.
The truth is out there and so is this movie – unfortunately they are not in the same place. As one reviewer said – "The fact that
there are aliens in Indiana Jones and none in an X-Files movie is ridiculous!"
RATING
DVD (Only for you X-File completionists are there.)
BEST THING: The beginning 5 minutes (best action) – When Scully yells at the pedophile priest (most emotional).
WORST THING: Complete lack of villains, or any sustainable tension.
MY RATING SYSTEM
(I never understood stars. What the f*** does 3 stars mean? I rate movies based of what's important, how much cheddar will I
have to spend. 'Cuz really aren't some movies good because you saw them for free?)
Full Price = Stop looking at porn and go see it right now!
Half Price = It can wait, but you should see it on the bigscreen.
DVD = Not a bad way to kill 2 hours, but not worth hiring a babysitter.
Cable = Okay to kill time with while you wait for your microwave dinner to finish.
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